


Reflections

by majesticmcold



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1203445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticmcold/pseuds/majesticmcold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small angsty Durin one shot. Thorin reflects on what he left behind, and what he is moving towards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

For a moment, Thorin was sent back in time.

To a time when Erebor still stood. To a time when he and his family were still alive and well – and together. Dís would be down in the lower levels, hammering away at whatever project currently took up her time. Frerin, of course, would still be in his rooms – when Thorin burst inside to pull his younger brother out, Frerin would quickly stuff his book of songs and poems under his pillow, giving Thorin a sheepish grin that Thorin pretended not to notice.

Thorin remembered returning to that same book, when he was finally able to without breaking down – months after Azanulbizar – reading the carefully scripted words quietly, before eventually throwing the book at Dís and storming away, and taking out his anger and pain on the ugliest tree that closest resembled an orc.

Thorin closed his eyes as Fíli and Kíli’s laughter reached his ears. A small wind caressed his face, pushing back his hair. With his blonde hair, Fíli had no idea how much he resembled the uncle he had never met.

_‘I will come, Thorin!’_

_‘No, you can’t.’_

_‘Don’t presume to tell me what I can or can’t do, Thorin. You may be a king, but you are also my brother. You expect me to simply sit here while my sons follow you on a doomed quest?’_

_‘It is not doomed! We will take back Erebor, I swear it.’_

_‘It is my home too. You don’t think I don’t want a part in it? You don’t think I want to help?’_

_‘Of course you do. I know that. But do you think I want to see you get hurt?’_

_‘Oh, Mahal, not this again. You know perfectly well –’_

_‘- that you can take care of yourself, I know. You can take care of yourself better than I can – and you have raised two sons while doing so. Do not think I am saying this out of insult. I need you here, to look after the rest of Durin’s folk. I trust no one else but you.’_

_‘Thorin, please.’_

_‘No, stop. When Frerin … I can’t bear to see that happen again. I will not lose another sibling.’_

_‘And what about me, Thorin? What if something happens to you and I’m forced to bury yet another brother?’_

_‘I will not let a dragon stand in my way.’_

_‘… you had better return to me, brother. Alive. But if something happens to Fíli or Kíli, I will have your head.’_

_‘You have my word. … Goodbye, Dís.’_

Not for the first time, Thorin found himself wishing that Dís was here. Not only was she a skilled fighter, but she had wisdom beyond her years, and despite being the younger sister, Dís had been an invaluable guide. He needed her.

‘Hey, Kíli – catch!’

Fíli aimed and threw. Kíli, eyes hard with concentration, moved swiftly – then caught the hunk of meat easily with his mouth. Fíli and Kíli cheered, along with a few others who had been watching the princes’ antics.

_How do they do it? How can they stay so happy and carefree?_ Thorin envied them.

They had not seen the terror of Smaug. They had not seen dozens of their kin slaughtered by monsters.

That did not, however, mean they were completely clueless. As they drew closer and closer to the Lonely Mountain, the number of quiet talks by the campfire between the two brothers had increased. Their smiles grew smaller and smaller. Fíli had started sleeping erratically and taking extra watch shifts.

Thorin sensed a pair of eyes on him, and he knew it was the hobbit. He did not acknowledge him, simply sat back against the rock and closed his eyes.

His dreams were full of fire.


End file.
